Adverse Effects Read online

  Pleasure swept through me and centered in my groin as the doctor’s fingers dug into my chin. I gagged at the sensation.

  “I asked you a question, I expect you to answer.”

  “I… I understand. Please, no more.” I hated that I was begging, but I couldn’t take any more pain. “I’ll do it.”

  “Open your eyes. Now.”

  Lewnster was crying as he fought the chair’s restraints. He was gagged, but he kicked his feet, like that would help get him away from me.

  “Hold him,” the doctor ordered.

  Another man in scrubs grabbed the guy by the hair and held his head still. Tears rolled down his face as he cried out through the gag, and Lewnster clenched his eyes shut.

  The doctor huffed. “Open your eyes or they will be opened for you. You know you will not like that.”

  I could almost feel the other man’s terror, but he did as he was told.

  “Do it,” the doctor ordered me.

  I stared into those glistening brown eyes, so wide, so afraid. I tried so hard, but nothing happened.

  “Focus!”

  I narrowed my eyes. I didn’t know what I was supposed to be doing. I imagined that I was looking behind the man’s eyes, that I could see inside him.

  Nothing.

  Slap! My head rocked to the side from the blow. Frustrated anger filled me. “You were supposed to be a success,” the doctor raged. “You fit all the parameters perfectly. How could you fail? How?”

  The speaker crackled to life. “Sir? I think you need to see this.”

  The doctor strode from the room, cursing. “Take them back to their rooms,” he ordered as he left.

  I was in pain, my head swimming, and my eyes burned. My tongue felt twice its normal size, and my wrists and ankles ached where I’d fought the rough restraints holding me down. There was no way I’d be able to escape, but two guards in white uniforms still grabbed me under the arms as soon as my hands were freed.

  Guilt. Pleasure. Nausea. Satisfaction. The urge to do violence, a sick anticipation, and a grim sense of futility filled me. It was all too much as the emotions poured in and took over.

  I screamed over and over, writhing on the oddly soft floor where they’d dropped me.

  “DADE!”

  My body arched and twisted in a bid to get away from the sensations forced on me. The intense feelings had faded to one of concern. I jerked away, ripping the hand off my shoulder as I rolled and came up in a fighting stance on the other side of the bed.

  “Ow!”

  The knife I’d pilfered during a meal days before was in my hand. My chest heaved as I tried to separate reality from the vivid nightmare of a memory I’d been locked in.

  Nicklaus stared at me with wide eyes, cradling his arm against his chest. The one he’d broken was still weak even after they’d fixed it. Fieo rushed into the room, a projectile weapon naked in his hand.

  “What in the name of all that is holy is going on in here?”

  I straightened the second Fieo came in, palming the knife and sliding it into the back of my wrap’s waistband. A slight sting told me the edge was still razor-sharp.

  “Nothing.”

  “I heard screaming.” He looked back at Nicklaus. “Are you hurt?”

  “Twisted my wrist a little.” Nicklaus stared at me. “My fault, though. Dade was having a nightmare. I tried to wake him up.”

  Fieo snarled. “He hurt you.” His fangs were showing when he glared at me.

  Nicklaus shook his head, reaching out toward Fieo with his good arm before pulling back. “No, I’m fine. Besides, he didn’t do it on purpose. He was asleep.”

  Fieo turned and stared at me. “Is that true?”

  I was trying to hide the way my teeth wanted to chatter in the chill of the air. I was cold, but sweat slid down my spine. I nodded instead of speaking.

  Fieo put his gun into the harness around his waist just under the top edge of his wrap. He gave me a hard look, a violent promise in his eyes. I knew what he’d do to me if I actually hurt Nicklaus. I didn’t cower, returning his glare instead. He could try.

  He sneered at me and then turned to Nicklaus. “Let’s go get you a painkiller for that arm.”

  Nicklaus knew about my knife, but he didn’t say anything as Fieo herded him out the door without touching him. As soon as the door shut, I slid the blade from my wrap and put it back under the pillow. I twisted around to check the cut on my side, but it was minor, more of a scratch than anything.

  I went into the bathroom I shared with Nicklaus, sliding the lock on his door to make sure no one could come in from that side. A glance in the mirror showed my eyes were solid black, and the isitziu curled over my cheeks were stark against the pallor of my skin. I dropped my wrap on the floor. My whole body trembled as I sank to my knees in the shower. The water turned on, and I let it flow over me, washing away the sweat. It hid the tears I couldn’t stop.

  I huddled there, my arms wrapped around my knees, and rocked until the water ran cold.

  CHAPTER TWO

  The skin on the back of my neck crawled. If I had more than dark stubble for hair, it would have been standing on end.

  My breath froze in my chest. I slowly turned my head in the direction I felt the threat coming from.

  A man stood against the wall down the corridor. I’d stepped out of the room Ryker had led us to for lunch so I could use the bathroom. My guard had actually let me go alone, since this was the Toleral’s private wing.

  I’d seen the guards standing outside the main doors. They were the only reason I was allowed to go anywhere by myself. It rankled, the knowledge that my cage was bigger yet still a cage, but I had no choice but to agree to the precautions.

  It wasn’t like it was just me. They all had guards. Seral’s family was made up of important people, obviously. One of them confused me, though. Something about Ovrumi seemed strange, and while I understood the language the Caeorleians used, some words just didn’t make any sense to me. I had no idea what a belie was. A title? He was paired up with that guy who seemed to be in charge. Seral had introduced Modoalm as his dad, after the whole confrontation with their council guys.

  I was uncomfortable surrounded by the crowd of couples, Nicklaus and Fieo included—though they didn’t touch. Needing a distraction, I’d had too much to drink. The juice was sweeter than anything I’d ever tasted, and I enjoyed the fluid thick with pulp. That led to my current need to empty my bladder, but the stranger captured my attention the second I felt him watching me. I ignored my quest to find the bathroom for a minute.

  “What’s the matter, never seen an alien hybrid before?” I snarled.

  He sneered at me, his hands clenched at his sides. “Nope. I’ve never been this close to one of you freaks before. Maybe I need a closer look.”

  I fell into a ready stance. I’d assessed him for a threat, and the fool didn’t seem to even notice my defensive posture as he came toward me.

  I eyed the expanse of his skin barely covered by a wrap at his waist. His bare palms came up as fists as we squared off. It seemed as if he wasn’t going to use whatever it was I could see creating a long, thin bulge at the side of his wrap. I stiffened my hands into flat blades, hoping to minimize contact with his skin.

  His arrogance wasn’t completely unwarranted as he moved; I barely noticed the twitch before his hand shot toward my face. I shifted to the side, but his other hand came up and caught me in a blow just above my ear.

  Fuck. My head swam as I shook it. He was faster than I expected, and a slimy feeling of disgust invaded me. I crouched and rammed my shoulder forward into his chest. I groaned at the impact but embraced the rage as he stumbled back. I didn’t hesitate, striking for his face.

  I caught him with a return blow to the cheek, and he snarled, baring his fangs at me. I snarled back at him. “I’m not the easy prey you were expecting, am I? Maybe you’ll wise up and pick a better victim next time. If I let you live.”

  I had no trouble wit
h the idea of killing him. He was scum, and he’d take me out if he could. There was no remorse in him.

  Rage contorted his face, and the next flurry of blows was almost too fast to follow. I blocked most of them, but he was good, really good. I had to end this before he landed one that would take me out. Why hadn’t the guards come to investigate the noise?

  Shit. I had to pay attention. I ducked under a punch, and then thrust my body backward to land on my outstretched hands. I brought up my left leg, and the smack as I hit his chin jarred my body as I flipped over. I landed low to the ground, crouching on my hands and feet, staring up at him.

  His jaw was clearly dislocated and bleeding, but he should have gone down in a heap. Blue blood trickled from the corner of his mouth.

  His hand went to his side, to that unnatural bulge. I stood up, rushing him, but he was too damn quick. Right as I slammed into him, I felt a giant shock shoot outward from my chest. His hand was holding something cold over my heart. His other arm wrapped around my body and held me close to him.

  His hum was too garbled for me to understand as he snarled, spraying blood that felt warm against the chill taking over my body. Waves of vicious satisfaction filled me with macabre dichotomy even as my heart stuttered, and I began to panic. I tried to pull back, tried to arch backward, but my body was completely out of my control.

  “Die.”

  I understood that word through the ruin of his mouth and throat. The bright light of the hall dimmed. After everything, I was going to die on an alien planet. At least I wasn’t in a cage or a lab at the hands of a doctor. I’d gone down fighting with everything I had in me. It was a warrior’s death.

  A bright light flashing over me was the last thing I knew.

  I was hot. Super hot. I’d once read an old paper book, at least a hundred years old, that talked about the old views of heaven and hell humans back on the first Earth had come up with. I didn’t think everyone was good enough to go to their fluffy-white happy place called heaven, though.

  No one was really all good, you know? At least, I’d never met anyone like that.

  Wrongdoers were punished for eternity. They talked about fiery heat and the screams of the agonized as they paid for the evil they committed in life. Maybe they had been right. Maybe I was in that hell, surrounded by the burning liquid and the hoarse screams of my fellow sinners.

  I would have begged for the pain to stop if I knew how to speak. I couldn’t see anything or move, though, so maybe I didn’t really have a body anymore. Maybe all I was, all that was left of me, was a vague consciousness that lingered in this agony.

  There was no sense of time, nothing with which to measure how long the torment had been going on. It was endless, maddening. If I could speak, I would’ve been raving.

  Then there was a change. A spot of coolness on both temples, small circles that radiated outward. It spread in streamers, like fingers down the body I no longer had, touching and sending waves of relief from the flames of hell.

  I blinked.

  My head was pillowed on something soft. Silky fabric covered my body up to my armpits. I rolled my eyes as far as I could, trying to figure out where I was without moving. A white ceiling broken by dark beams was overhead. My heart raced.

  It looked like my room.

  I wasn’t dead. Maybe.

  I couldn’t be. I could see and feel things. It was warm, but the window was open and a breeze scented with flowers flowed through the room. I could smell.

  The horrible taste in my mouth meant I could certainly taste. I grimaced and licked my lips with a dry tongue. I was thirsty.

  Dead people didn’t get thirsty, right?

  “Oh, you’re awake! Good.”

  Hands reached toward my face, and I flinched away. I scrambled backward off the bed before I even realized I was moving.

  “Careful now, Dade. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  I panted, staring across the wide expanse of the bed at the man. He wasn’t a big man, but he had really wide hands with short, sturdy-looking fingers. His arms looked strong, corded with lean muscle. He had blue eyes like the dark blue stone I’d once seen on a medal of valor hanging in a general’s cabinet.

  “Who are you?” I asked in a croaking voice. I coughed.

  “My name is Larede. I wanted to make sure you were okay, so I volunteered to sit with you. We couldn’t know exactly how much damage the oreil did until you woke up.”

  I cocked my head sideways. “Oreil?”

  “The weapon the male used on you.”

  So the aliens had some types of weapons that made the stunners the guards on the ships used seem like mild nerve tinglers. And once again, I’d almost died. It was getting harder and harder to feel grateful I was alive. Honestly, the thought that ran through my head the most was a big ole whoop-de-do.

  “I’m fine,” I said. “So go away.”

  I straightened up, then looked over the parts of my body I could see. I moved a little, flexing. Nothing hurt, so I seemed to be just fine. My mouth was the only thing I could find wrong with me. I could barely work up enough saliva to swallow. My throat was sore when I did, and my tongue felt dry. My lips cracked, and the tang of blood mixed with the sour taste in my mouth.

  My eyes widened and I continued my assessment. I looked over at the guy just a few feet away.

  I was naked!

  And there was a guy staring at me.

  “Fuck. Damn bunch of pervert nudists,” I muttered under my breath. Snagging the soft sheet twisted across the bed, I covered myself, trying not to reveal the panic swamping me. Who’d stripped me and why? What did they do to me? I couldn’t stop the tremor in my hands.

  The man across the bed cleared his throat. Little did he know but he’d just painted a target on his own head. I needed an outlet, and he just gave it to me. I glared at the stranger who was standing in my room, exactly where he was not wanted.

  “Why are you still here?” He had a grin on his face, and if he wanted to keep me from rearranging it, he needed to stop staring at me like that. His lips were bright red, like a bull’s-eye. One my fist would be all too happy to hit. “I told you to get lost.” I would have thrown him out if I didn’t have to hold the sheet on, or if touching him wouldn’t be more trouble than driving him away with words would be.

  “And I told you that I can’t until I check you. Your body took a hefty dose from the oriel, and it took us a few days to remove it from your system.”

  My mouth dropped open. “Days?”

  “Yes. We had to immerse you in a warming tank. If we had tried to bring your body temperature up too fast, your heart would’ve burst. It takes time for the ice crystals that formed in your body to melt. We just got your temperature normalized a few hours ago and brought you to your room.

  “Seral thought you would be more comfortable here. Usually we’d keep patients in the medical wing, but he said that would be a bad idea with your”—he cleared his throat—“history. That is why you were naked.”

  I was relieved at his explanation for the nudity, even if I was still uncomfortable with the knowledge people had seen me naked. It also explained why it had felt like I was drowning in burning liquid for so long.

  “Tell me more about the guy who attacked me.” For now, that was the most important thing to find out. The threat level Larede possessed was minimal. I had assessed him, and nothing he had said or done seemed dangerous.

  The man cocked his head sideways and gave me a look. “Compromise. I’ll tell you what I know, but only if you let me examine you.”

  I tensed up again and opened my mouth to speak, but he interrupted me.

  “It won’t hurt, Dade,” he said quickly. He gave me a careful smile, his hands open at his sides, as if he was trying to reassure a scared child.

  “I’m not afraid it will hurt,” I growled. “I don’t like being touched.” I weighed my need to know what had happened with the discomfort his touch would bring. I sighed and sank down on the end of the bed.
“Fine.” I had to know.

  He picked up a small screen off the table by the bed before he approached me slowly. “So, with all the excitement I don’t know if you remember I told you my name.” He stopped in front of me.

  My teeth were clenched together. I wasn’t stupid. “Larede. I remember.”

  He smiled again, the blue lines around his eyes crinkling. He had deep dimples in his cheeks that caught my eye. “Good, good. What else do you remember?”

  “A guy insulting me, and then he attacked. We traded blows, and I dislocated his jaw before he slammed a thin strip of something into my chest. I got cold, and everything started to go dark. There was a flash of light, and then I woke up here. That’s all.” I kept my comments succinct as I watched his hands. He didn’t need to know about my dreams of the fire or the soothingly cool fingers.

  “Try to relax,” he said. “Your heart is racing. I’m not going to touch you right now, and I’ll tell you before I do, okay? Just take a deep breath and let it out.”

  A curt nod was all I could manage. My heart felt like it would pound out of my chest, but really, what could I do about that? I took a few deep breaths, my hands clutching the sheet gradually relaxing when nothing happened. I let out one final deep breath.

  “Good.” His voice was as soft as his smile.

  My mouth twisted. He could keep his praise to himself. I was about to tell him that when I looked up into Larede’s dark eyes. They had these little lines in them and looked like faceted jewels, catching the light coming in through the window. I blinked when he did and then blushed when I realized I’d been staring.

  I cleared my throat. “I answered one of your questions,” I pointed out to him in a gruff voice.

  “The male who guarded you grew suspicious when you didn’t return. He followed you and stopped the attack.” Larede tapped on the screen in his hand. “Could you lift your arms and hold them up at shoulder level, please?”

  I made sure my sheet wouldn’t move and then did what he asked.

  “Any muscle pain or cramping?”